An immediate word of caution and disclaimer: Ms. Straughan approvingly makes reference to a dating practice of alternatively paying for dinner (the “steak”) and providing sexual favors. The appearance of her comments should not be taken as an endorsement by the author of this website of immoral and risky practices in dating (1-5). Ms. Straughan, at the time of the recording of this video, regretfully contributes to the liberalization of common sexual mores towards licentiousness. Any professor or teacher, pastor, journalist, clinician, or public blogger who has done so in word–or deed, as well as by omission–should humbly repent immediately and offer a warning instead for the future harm that their former encouragements may have caused others. Even the welcoming hearers of a message foster its effect for good or for ill. As we attempt to re-build culture, we should not be adding to the confusion that buffet men in this important matter of sexual purity. This is the responsibility and the danger of speaking publicly. In particular, sexual topics are more than abstract, inert ideas–they are potent memes. Improperly or salaciously presented, they provide powerfully impelling, illicit license to hearers, young and old–even many who should know better.
Monogamy is the path of generation for the Second Society. Promiscuity is the cause and the consequence–in positive feedback fashion–of a disintegrating culture.
The remaining body of Ms. Straughans talk is excellent in its insights and value regarding the double messages presented to young boys and men of all ages.
(1) The media attention paid to oral sex and the subsequent infusion of this during a period of former President Clinton’s tenure resulted in a rise of sexually transmitted disease related to such practices by teenagers. Such talk in a public setting has serious consequences, spiritually and in terms of public health. It can weaken the moral resolve of many as the influence of religious institutions and traditional marital and familial practices weaken. Knowledge of scientific, medical and statistical realities cannot be relied upon in guiding personal behavior in the realm of the powerful personal and social forces related to sexual behavior. Thus the failure of sex education programs in stopping illicit sexual activity, even those programs that provide detailed information of possible consequences of disease. Such attempts to guide behavior by information faces multiple challenges to success, including momentary forgetfulness in moments of passion; the hedonic power of sex; and the natural attempt, frustrations and lapses, of those seeking a partner to marry, to conform to a prevailing culture in a state of moral turbulence.
(4) “Oral sex and human papilloma virus-related head and neck squamous cell cancer: a review of the literature” in The British Medical Journal, Ankit Shah, et al. http://pmj.bmj.com/content/93/1105/704
(5) “Human Papillomavirus-Related Disease in Men: Not Just a Women’s Issue,” Joel Palevsky, J Adolesc Health. 2010 Apr; 46(4 Suppl): S12–S19. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2871537/
[Note: I will be adding literature focusing on public health effects on women subsequent to Bill Clinton’s pronouncement that “oral sex is not sex.” These effects are just as dire and deserve full exposition.]